A Short History of Women

Everyone loves hearing stories about their grandparents.  They lived difficult lives (World Wars, the Depression), astonishing lives (world travel when Europe was quaint and affordable), had love lives (meeting by post, starting farms in desolate lands).  Our grandmas came of age when women didn't have a lot of rights.  My own grandma was born just one year after women gained the right to vote.  During WWII she worked as a riveter and later joined my grandfather running a furniture store.  A few decades earlier women were making huge strides.  My sister read a book about Trudy Ederle, the first women to swim the English Channel.  Coco Before Chanel is the story of Coco Chanel and how she became stylish and famous by pure grit and determination.
But not all women created worldwide impacts.  Kate Walbert's novel A Short History of Women tells of four generations of women who try to make a difference, but just as easily are forgotten.  Dorothy Townsend is a 19th century suffragette who dies during a hunger strike.  Her children are sent away and their children barely know the sacrifice she made.  Her daughter Evelyn is an accomplished chemist, but is taught during a time when women are told to keep their work private, lest men find out and get jealous.  Her niece Dorothy resists authority late in life by taking photos at an off-limits military base-- only to have her own daughter apologize in shame. 
Ms. Townsend's novel reminded me of the loneliness of The Hours.  These were stories about women trying to Do Something, even if it came at a cost. We know our grandmas, and we know Marie Curie, Amelia Earhart, Indira Gandhi, Virginia Woolf and Hillary.  But this book reminded me of all the unrecognized women who made/make sacrifices.  When there is an election and I vote, I know it's because of them that I can.
5/5 netflix stars

The Help and Strength in What Remains

The Revolutions of 1989 were by and large bloodless; the Velvet Revolution, the fall of the Berlin Wall and the revolutions of other Eastern Bloc countries resulted in the end of Communism and peaceful transfer of power. Twenty years before that Dr. Martin Luther King epitomized the non-violent struggle for civil rights.  The Help by Kathryn Stockett describes the stories of three women: one privileged white woman who along with two African American maids work together to tell the stories of behind the scenes lives, and in the process create a non-violent revolution in Jackson, Mississippi.  Each woman makes personal sacrifices for the greater good-- even though at the time they have no idea what that good will be.  Ms. Stockett tells the story of The Help in three viewpoints-- Skeeter's, Aibileen's and Minny's.  Each woman has a personal impetus to enact change, but what's amazing is how the three of them come to work together.
The revolutions of 1989 were not all peaceful. Tianamen Square took place that summer.  Likewise, 1994 brought about revolutions too. The very violent kind.  Extreme poverty for the majority and extreme wealth for the minority set the catalyst for the ethic genocides in Burundi and Rwanda.  Tracy Kidder relays Deo's story in Strength in What Remains.  Similar to What is the What, Deo miraculously flees Burundi and lands in New York with $200, no place to live and barely understanding a word of English.  Within five years he's enrolled at Columbia and soon after that, Dartmouth Medical School.  Mr. Kidder relays Deo's story in a series of viewpoints also.  He writes as a journalist, telling Deo's history as Deo remembers it.  Then he tells the history of the country, so the reader can better understand how events took a turn from the worse, and finally, he tells his story: how he met Deo and his impressions of him and his relationship to him and their return together to Burundi.  Mr. Kidder's document seemed a more complete story than What is the What.
In The Help, Skeeter is amazed that Aibileen is such a voracious reader, and that other maids who work for her friends have gone to college and aspire to send their children to college.  Many of white women Skeeter is friends with cannot see past the color and occupation of their maids.  But what surprised me was that Deo's story in New York was similar.  He'd come from being an intern at a hospital in Burundi to being a grocery delivery boy who made $15 a week in New York.  Just as the family Aibileen works for dehumanizes her by not even allowing her to use a bathroom in the house, Deo's employer literally pokes him with a stick to make him work.
Both books are good reminders that revolutions are, and should be, dynamic and constant.  I give both 5/5 netflix stars.

Crazy Love

While reading Crazy Love by Leslie Morgan Steiner, I wanted more than anything for the book to be fiction. I wanted this in part because Leslie's story was sad and difficult and I wouldn't want anyone to suffer the injustices she described. But I also wanted it because the memoir was just so sloppily written that I wanted to just read it as a throwaway book.

Leslie writes about her first marriage in her early 20s to a man who first hit her five days before their wedding. She describes the violence inflicted on her during their honeymoon and also her isolation when they moved away from her friends and family to Vermont. Conor meets many hallmarks of an abuser-- he came from a family where he was abused and slowly controls Leslie, even though she doesn't think of herself as a "typical" battered wife. And in many ways, she's not what we think. She comes from an old, rich family, went to a prestigious college, interned at Seventeen magazine, went to business school. Not to be picky, but these are the exact reasons I wanted the book to be better written! The chronology was confusing, her's and Conor's characters were not multi-dimensional and there were some many inaccuracies (ie, Bostonians do not say "pop" for a Coke-- a detail, but if you're going to throw it in, it better be correct!).

I've read a couple memoirs in the past year or so. The best was An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination and the so-so was Trail of Crumbs. This leans more to the latter-- a need to get the story out.

I admire Leslie for telling her story and for the ultimate "happy ending" even though it wasn't as sophisticated as I would have liked. I'm giving it 3/5 netflix stars.

American Wife and The Wordy Shipmates

Periodically I'll put in requests for books at the public library and if the books are "best sellers" I might be number 80 on the list. I don't mind waiting, but invariably what happens is that all the books will arrive at the same time. So a couple weeks ago I got notification that American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld had arrived along with a fellow blogger's recommendation for The Wordy Shipmates, by Sarah Vowell. With limited time to read both, I shoved my New Yorkers to the side and plowed in. Fortunately I was sick for a few days so could only read and watch KU basketball on the couch. More importantly, I realized these books are nice complements to each other.

The Wordy Shipmates is Sarah Vowell's research on the origins of American settlers in New England and American Wife is a fictionalized life story of Laura Bush (Alice Blackwell in the book)-- in short, these two books are bookends on American History.

Ms. Sittenfeld creates a thoughtful and sympathetic portrait of an average American woman. Alice grows up in a small town in Wisconsin and leads what anyone would consider a fairly ordinary life from the outside. She attends public school, goes to church, interacts with her neighbors, and has a best friend. Her dad works at a bank and her mom stays at home. Her grandma is the spunky antithesis of "normalcy"-- she provides the inspiration for Alice's lifelong liberal leanings. When Alice falls for Charlie Blackwell, a son from a strong and old Republican family, they are still years away from Charlie becoming president (based on W.). Alice is confident she and Charlie can keep their politics separate and to an extent they do, but she does find that her mores and ethics are often at odds with Charlie's public persona. She maintains a fine line between her personal feelings and public face.

Alice's conflict can directly be traced back to the 1630s. In school we learned that the Pilgrims came from England for religious freedom. That's part of the story. Ms. Vowell explains that they were all for religious freedom as long as they all adhered to an agreed upon set of rules. Sound familiar? She gives us the backstory on the founding of different colonies and the seemingly petty disagreements that led to vicious attacks on American Indians, multiple banishments of colonists and beheadings of those who disagreed with the King(s) of England. I liked Ms. Vowell's account of this history because she writes with humor and personal insight and honestly loves our founding fathers (and mothers) despite, and because of, their shortcomings. She cringes when Anne Hutchinson shoots herself in the foot and rolls her eyes at Winthrop's and Williams' disagreements. But she never apologizes for being American-- she loves America.

Both of these books were so well written and edited. They were both worth the wait, and even the $0.60 fine I'll pay for finishing The Wordy Shipmates after its due date.

5/5 netflix stars to each.

The Lone Pilgrim

I just finished my second Laurie Colwin book: The Lone Pilgrim, a collection of short stories. What I love about short stories in general, and Ms. Colwin's stories in particular, is the way the main characters are in sharp focus and the secondary characters are in soft focus-- kind of like a close up of a flower, where you can see fuzzy green and other colors and shapes around it, framing it, but it's the flower you really notice.
In "The Lone Pilgrim", the narrator comments, "But steady as I am, why am I so solitary? No matter how orderly, measured, and careful my arrangements are, they are only a distillation of me, not a fusion of myself and someone else. I have my domestic comforts, except that mine are only mine." In "Travel", our heroine notes her independence. "The food I lived on was eccentric. I strained yogurt through cheesecloth to concentrate it, and I ate it with pickled cabbage and salted Japanese plums...the odd tastes of a solitary person." When she gives this meal to her future husband, it never occurs to her "that he might have the same odd taste, or his own odd taste."
But as lone and solitary as Ms. Colwin's characters are, they aren't immune to heartache. Miss Greenway, in "Saint Anthony of the Desert", laments a lost love who has returned for a final farewell. "His ease in my apartment broke my heart. I wanted to say, like Saint Anthony of the Desert, 'Why do you do harm to me when I harm none of you? Go away, and in the Lord's name, do not come near these things again.' He did go away, and that was the last I even saw of him."
Ms. Corwin writes with the honesty of Andrea Lee and Nell Freudenberger and her books will surely hold a point of reference for me for years to come.
netflix stars 5/5.

Lulu in Marrakech

If you could travel to exotic locales and live a life of percieved ennui, maybe just volunteering for some local projects, would you? Would you forfeit your identity, even from your family? Would you risk your life and be prepared to go to jail in a foreign country? Lulu Sawyer does all this, in Diane Johnson's book, Lulu in Marrakech.

We don't know a lot about how and why Lulu became involved in the CIA, but as a young agent without a family, she is able to deftly move place to place without prompting suspicion. Lulu isn't a robot; like many 30 year old, liberal educated women, she questions the role of women in world society, specifically focussing on her new post in Morocco. She yearns to marry Ian, the man whom she ostensibly travels to Marrakech to be with, although he could in fact be part of a larger plot which Lulu is supposed to keep tabs on.

Ms. Johnson expands her themes of Americans abroad much as she did in Le Divorce. Lulu and a fellow guest and expat, Posy, try to navigate as women in a Muslim (albeit liberal) society and are confronted with other European women who have conflicting views about the roles of Muslim women-- some believe they deserve to learn to read, while others think, "what's the point?".

Lulu's covert task comes to a head by the end of the book, but along the way she has to decide where her allegiances lie; are the friends she's made really friends? What personal risks, if any, will she take to maintain those friendships?

Ms. Johnson, through our heroine Lulu, is able to address non-PC topics and sterotypes and ultimately, those become the main themes of the book-- not Lulu's mission.

I loved this book. I loved that it was current and provacative, yet at times also really funny. I give this 5/5 netflix stars.

Lucky Girls

One of my favorite literary exchanges took place in this book, Lucky Girls by Nell Freudenberger. It's a small volume of short stories about young American women living mostly in foreign countries, or at least exploring their own foreign feelings.

In 'Outside the Eastern Gate' the narrator, a young woman currently living in the U.S., gets a call from her sister who asks, "Are you lying on the couch?" The narrator responds, "I just finished with that. Now I'm thinking about whether to make a sandwich." This simple phrase epitomizes the will and ultimate resolve, often while under personal duress, of all the characters in the book. One woman may have been assaulted while studying in Thailand, but maybe there was just a misunderstanding. One woman moved to India to be close to her married lover, and after his death, may move back to the U.S. But maybe not. And there are girls who are thinking about who to have sex with the first time. They may decide, or maybe not.
This book was lent to me by my friend Rashmi. We agree on many things-- politics, clothes, drinks after work (always yes). But we often have different taste in movies and books. I hated The Emperor's Children and she loved it. I loved Lolita and she hated it. But we agree on books about strong women who make their own decisions and don't apologize for them. We agree on Nell Freudenberger and we agree on Andrea Lee.
Lately I've been lying on the couch a lot. But I know if Rashmi calls, I can tell her that I'm done doing that, and that I'm deciding whether to make a sandwich, and perhaps to meet for drinks after work.
Netflix stars: 5/5.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan

Several months back our book club read The Good Earth, which told of the hard life of peasants in China in the early 20th century. Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See takes place about a century earlier, but despite the better standing of Lily and Snow Flower, their hardships were much the same as the family in The Good Earth.
Lily and Snow Flower are sworn as laotong, an eternal BFF, early in their lives. They understand their roles as women-- from early footbinding, to learning domestic arts, to marriage and serving their husbands and husband's families. While they never question those roles, they find ways to communicate true feelings, happiness, and especially unhappiness through the secret writing nu shu. Just like the peasants in The Good Earth, these girls experience drought, famine, untimely death and illness as well as success through hard work and tradition keeping.
The friendship Lily and Snow Flower shared was poignant, but the descriptions of the accepted footbindings were what really amazed me. Although impossible to change a tradition in one generation or by one woman, I was surprised that the two "sisters" so easily and readily accepted the practice for their own daughters after experiencing such pain and personal loss.
I enjoyed Snow Flower and the Secret Fan-- the story moved swiftly and the characters came to life with plausible jealousies, loves, desires and pain. Netflix rating 3/5.

Cane River

One of my most favorite books of all time is The Living by Annie Dillard , a novel chronicling several generations of settlers on the Washington coast in the late 19th century. Cane River by Lalita Tademy reminded me of The Living. Cane River is based on the author's own family history in Cane River, Louisiana. She researched her family ancestry and fictionalized three generations of women-- all born slaves.

I was surprised that slavery was not just "black and white"-- there were freed colored people (presumably blacks, native Americans and those of mixed background) who themselves were sometimes slave owners. And, it was not uncommon for white men to have families with slaves-- sometimes freeing the children or giving them land and other benefits. Surprisingly, this became less acceptable over time, so that the most recent generation (early to mid 20th century), represented by Emily (despite having the most "white" blood in her), bore the brunt of what we recognize as modern racism.

Elisabeth, her daughter Suzette, her daughter Philomene and finally, her daughter Emily are all focused that family is what matters most. They each learn early on that although their white masters might be "generous" to them, they are slaves and their loyalty must ultimately be to each other. They keep each other close and work to ensure that future generations will be better off (ie, owning land, being able to read, and even passing for white).

Like Almodovar's movie Volver, the women in Cane River run the show; men are not incidental, but they are used and manipulated to further advance the families of the women of Cane River. At one point, a census taker comes and records all the generations of women living in Suzette's home-- not a man living among them.

This very nearly was an uplifting book, but for where the book dropped off, in the late 1930's. We know that times would only become more difficult for African Americans, but given the author's own experience and success, we know these generations of women accomplished their goals.

Netflix rating: 4/5 stars.