How To Be Alone

An Open Letter To Jonathan Franzen:

I'd like to start by thanking you. Your book The Corrections entertained me for a good couple days at my first post-college job. But perhaps the joy that was The Corrections bears re-reading, because I found your book of essays, How To Be Alone, in a word, annoying. In two words, annoying and obnoxious. The book consists of essays written from the early to mid-90s and finishes with one written on Inauguration Day, 2001. Many of the earlier essays are stuck in their time-- ruminations on the deterioration of society due to cordless phones and answering machines. I guess it's noble to write one's novel on an old typewriter...if you're 78. But Mr. Franzen, at the writing, you were in your early thirties! Isn't that a bit young to become a curmudgeon? Personally, if I had written an essay predicting that the Internet would fall the way of beta max and AOL email, I'd want to make sure it stayed hidden, presumably under lock and key in old gray file cabinets, and not compiled in a "Best Of" album. I felt embarrassed for you.

You lament that people don't read anymore and inform us that you gave away your old tv so that there would be no distractions from reading. While you might like to think you are a martyr for doing this, the reality is, Mr. Franzen, that many, many people read. And many, many people can just turn off the tv for a couple hours. I daresay that even Mr. Frey would be able to abstain from tv for an evening to read a forlorn and dusty book in the prison library.

But Mr. Franzen, it's not all gloom and doom. I sincerely enjoyed your expose on the deficiencies of the Chicago Postal Service (because who doesn't enjoy bitching about the mail?) and your last essay on Inauguration Day 2001 showed growth and insight. The essay about your father's brain was poignant and your interviews with prison inmates were thoughtful. But when you just offer your opinion on a given issue, you often straddle both sides, leaving me wondering which side you are really on.

I'm sure you'd be happy knowing the Marie Claire Book Club probably would not wade through your verbiage of "big" words (two words missing from your essays are "hubris" and "humility"). In fact, I couldn't finish the book. I decided to take the challenge you proposed and read...but life's too short to read condescending opinions set forth by spoiled artists.

Mr. Franzen, your book may be so lucky to fall into the same company as your beloved typewriter and even the answering machine-- at a garage sale in a box of $.10 books.

Sincerely,

Andrea

Netflix stars-- 2/5